It’s inevitable that times change. Less than a century ago, it was unimaginable to be 25 or above and still unmarried, as the idea of marriage (not necessarily finding love) was a priority in people’s lives. However, the 70’s and 80’s came, with love being a bit more important in this whole tying-the-bond endeavor. But it didn’t stop there. Millennials came, and with them, a whole new way of thinking, and consequently, a lot more effort has to be put into dating someone, let alone staying with them for a long period of time and marrying them. But why? Why are millennials so different from all the previous generations?
First of all, it’s crucial that we stop for a moment and think of the way they are communicating. Text messaging and instant messaging has somehow replaced all the phone calls and face to face conversations the previous generations practiced. It’s practically impossible to find someone who stills calls a person on their landline, which makes the whole communication process very different. That being said, millennials seem to communicate more between themselves – not necessarily through speech, but it does seem easier for them to figure out who’s good for them and who’s not. The things they have in common and the ones that they don’t like about themselves seem to come to the surface more easily, which, we have to agree, saves a lot of time.
If you think about it, no one keeps a journal anymore. Millennials don’t wait for a specific period of time or a feeling to pass in order to document it down, they do so on social networks the moment it happens to them. And of course, nothing’s done if it’s not validated by a certain number of likes and comments. Due to this fact, they don’t silently suffer or experience happiness, but rather let it all out. Moreover, it’s easier to understand somebody else’s point of view, which can play a very significant role in reshaping your own thinking.
There is a plethora of different cliques at the moment. There are hipsters, intellectuals, stoners, stoner intellectuals, goths, athletes, and who knows how many others. That being the case, it’s very difficult to get to like someone from a different social circle than you. So, if you want to know how to get the guy to notice you, be sure it’s going to be a bit more difficult if he’s not from your circle. The whole generation seems to be very divided among themselves, making it difficult to establish contact with people who don’t share the same experiences and points of view. Finally, physical appearance does play a major role here, as millennials are extremely judgmental. In the sea of good-looking people we see both in the streets and in the media, millennials rise the bar even higher, so it’s quite challenging to be attractive to a guy, especially if he has his own taste on the totally different side of the spectrum.
Expectation vs reality
It’s only natural that we look for new things in a person as we grow older. We realize that we don’t only want someone attractive but a kind soul as well, and vice versa. That is why the expectations we have very often don’t match the reality. And it’s also in our nature to think very highly of ourselves, so we tend to “let this one go because someone better will come along”. Pointing out the flaws in a person has become the first thing to do, which rapidly decreases the circle of potential love candidates.
Fear of commitment
We live in a world where labeling people is out of the question, so, naturally, millennials grew this fear of being labeled. Fear of commitment is one of the biggest reasons for being hard to date, as they don’t like being labeled and they very much dislike defining certain things. For others, however, it’s the uncertainty of where the relationship will take them that’s scary. Finally, there are those who believe there’s so much more to life than settling with one person at a very early age. And if you happen to bump across one of those people, make sure to contact them in a couple of years’ time.
Yes, millennials are hard to date, but if you’re a millennial also, now you know it’s difficult to date you as well. However, being yourself, believing in others, trusting and giving them a chance even though they’re not in the same circle or don’t think as you is the key.